Broadband Funnies

I lost DSL access last week. My DSL modem is dead as a doornail. I plug it in and no lights come on, not even the power light. I go to the ATT website, find the tech-support page and learn that I can get help via e-mail. I enter my e-mail address, and a note that consists of the first three sentences of this post. A day later, I get an e-mail saying, "Thank you for your note. Your case number is blah blah blah. Someone will help you shortly. This message was sent automatically do not respond." A few days go by and I get the following e-mail message.

Dear Mr. [LAST NAME],

Thank you for contacting AT&T Internet Service Email Support. I
sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this issue may have caused. I
understand that you are having trouble with your modem.

Please powercycle the modem with the following steps.

Powercycle Modem
1. Disconnect all of the cords from the back of your modem, and turn
your computer completely off.
2. Once the computer is off, wait for 60 seconds.
3. Turn the computer back on, and plug the cords back into your modem.
4. Attempt to surf again, and see if the issue has been resolved.
5. If the issue has not been resolved, please contact technical support
at 1-888-321-2375.  We will troubleshoot this issue further.
All Steps Complete

If the problem persist please contact our helpdesk at ...

The fact that the e-mail was signed with a plausible name, and the use of the pronoun "I" might lead one to believe that there was a human involved in this process. Although the advice has absolutely nothing to do with the problem I faced so I called tech-support this morning and, before I spoke with a person, I had to speak with a computer. The computer would ask my questions like, "Is the ready light blinking or solid?" and I would say, "It is neither blinking nor solid. It isn't on." to which the computer would say, "I'm sorry. I didn't understand you. Please say `blinking', or `solid' to indicate if the light is blinking or solid." The human I finally spoke with was quite helpful and told me I'd be receiving a new modem for only the cost of shipping. 

None of this makes me feel a deep sense of love for ATT. Not that I imagine Comcast is much better. Playing hockey last night I heard folks referring to each other as "comcastic" as a means to say one is excessively slow, and maybe a little bit sucky. I was about to start whining about the great woe and suffering of living under not-so-competent, monolithic corporations, but then I realized that there are alternatives. I've started looking into Speakeasy's broadband service and I might switch if it isn't too expensive.