A Blog

Thoughts on being a new parent

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 21:23:07 -0600

My daughter’s lack of fear or doubt brings into sharp focus my own fears and doubts, and I foresee raising her as a continual decision about what to teach her. For example, when I watch a car drive by our house too quickly I’m overwhelmed by the fact that, without the wife or I present, she would happily crawl out into the street. When the time comes that she needs the freedom to go out in our yard unattended, I wont share my fear of losing her, but I will make sure she knows to look both ways before stepping off the sidewalk. More complicated are people.

There is a saying, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” I like this saying, and I think it has value even to those who may have doubts about God -- most everyone, I think, would recognize that factors outside their control contributed to the good in their lives. Arguably, it isn’t just God. Much of the good in my life has come from the kindness of others, kindness, that in many cases, I was wholly undeserving of. On the other hand I have been on the receiving end of considerable cruelty doled out by elementary and high school students who seemed to delight in the pain of others. I never really solved that problem, the best I came up with was to hide out in the library during lunch. Bullying ended abruptly and inexplicably when high school ended, but decades later I still have a certain mistrust of people in general.

What I didn’t realize until small child came along is that I have spent substantial effort building a life that minimizes the degree to which I must rely on the kindness of others. She shows me this by e.g. blowing kisses to strangers in restaurants. Whether or not my efforts are wise, she makes no such effort. Furthermore it gives me the willies to realize how unavoidable it is that, “There, but for the kindness of others, goes my daughter.” This has lead to no small amount of soul-searching and thinking about what it means to be a parent.

Do not go gentle into that good night

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 21:05:18 -0600

The stages of going to sleep for small child are:
1. Calm
2. Squirming
3. Piteous crying while squirming
4. Piteous hooting -- a sight and sound to behold
5. Sleep

Cold Beer!

Tue, 3 Aug 2010 20:33:50 -0600

I may have been a little down on new refrigerators last post. A cold beer after how ever long of drinking room temperature tap-water is actually a pretty exciting thing. Indeed I have several bottle of beer in my new fridge right now. They sit there coldly, ready to dispense beery pleasure at a moments notice.

I had this post rolling around in my head about how children make you grow, how they live without cynicism, without doubt, without fear. Just desire and love. How children can remind you of what it is like to live without cynicism or fear. Right now the wife and I are trying to teach small child to go asleep on her own without nursing to sleep, and small child is alternately screaming like she’s just lost a limb to a bear attack, and then making a impassioned arguments to be allowed to nurse. The impassioned arguments consist of, “Bah, bah, bah BAH! Ra Ra a-da da de de de Dah Dah bah BAH!” delivered with such heartfelt conviction that it is hard to disagree. In the moments of relative calm I keep trying to explain to small child that she’ll have nothing left to roll out scream-wise if she loses a limb in a bear attack.

The wife calls.

No joy

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 16:47:28 -0600

There is no joy to be had in shopping for a fridge. The basic metrics for a fridge is that it is big enough, allows easy access to chilled foodstuffs, doesn’t consume a lot of electricity -- not exactly the raw stuff of excitement. I can’t see “Come on kids! We’re going to easily access our chilled food-stuffs!” getting small child and potential sibling jumping up and down. Perhaps you could get a fridge with a clever ice/water dispenser on the front. We opted not to because we thought it was just another thing that could break. Plus I don’t drink water, and the wife likes water at room temperature. Maybe the ice/water things are exciting. Who knows. Also, all the appliances and paint in our kitchen are white, thus denying us the micro-modicum of excitement associated with a modern looking stainless steel fridge.

What is seriously not-so-exciting is that fridges aren’t free. The money that one exchanges for conveniently accessible chilled foodstuffs could pay for quite an enjoyable vacation -- so long as you’re willing to drive instead of fly. But if you can afford a fridge, and your current fridge is busted, it kind of makes sense to buy a new one, which is exactly what we did last weekend. It should be delivered tomorrow ... sometime in the morning ... or the afternoon ... unless it comes in the evening.

Drowning

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 17:46:45 -0600

Many a blogger, I’m sure, has pondered the question: Is it nobler to let one’s blog languish, or to fill it with pointless crappy posts?

In choosing to alternately let the blog languish and then produce pointless crappy posts you can see that I have not answered this question. Tonight I opt for a crappy post.

Last weekend I flew to a wedding in DC with small child. I don’t really like flying. It isn’s so much the actual flying itself, it’s the stress of getting through security, getting on the airplane, making sure there is space for carry-ons, figuring out what to do when the airline decides to strand you somewhere. These stresses are multiplied by about a zillion when traveling with small child. The main stresses are making sure that the wife small child and I will all gets seats together, and then worrying about what I can do if small child decides to scream at the top of her lungs (answer: not much, but I still worry.) This is not the first time small child flew. Earlier she made a trip to Nashville and was fine until the last fifteen minutes of the last leg of the return trip. How long is fifteen minutes, you ask? Long enough for me to swear off flying with a child ever again and then reiterate several times with, “No! I’m serious! Never again!” when the wife rolled her eyes. Given that small child is less than a year old you can see how long “never again” is for me.

Shortly after returning our fridge died. One evening there was this sound kind of like a short-lived waterfall coming from our fridge. We looked inside and nothing had spilled. We looked at the floor under the fridge and it was dry. The next day everything in our freezer was kind of melty. We never really liked the fridge anyway, so we’ll probably replace it, but in the mean time it’s a big pain in the ass. It’s summer and I have nothing cold to drink. The best I can do is let the cold water tap run for a while before drinking it. And that isn’t really great. Meal planning is made more complicated -- although I suppose it could be simpler if I resigned myself to oatmeal and rice.

More later ... Hopefully.